My perfect burger

Yes, I do understand that this blog is titled "The Little Smokehouse". Yes, I do know that the "Welcome" post extols the virtues of all things grilled and smoked. But right now, at this moment, I have to make a confession...when I want to make a perfect hamburger for myself... I do NOT use the grill. If I am making good burgers for lots of people I use a grill. But when it comes to me, and my desire for juicy, beefy, tasty goodness on a toasted bun with melted cheese, I use a stove and a broiler.

In another post we will thoroughly discuss how to grill excellent burgers. But, whether grilled or cooked on stove, the final product of all hamburger-ing endeavors are made shining successes (or utter failures) by the most ubiquitous, and generally most neglected of all ingredients... HEAT.

Heat is heat, right?
WRONG. The type of heat you use to cook your burger (or any meat) is crucial to they way that meat turns out. Many a well intentioned griller has gone to the ends of the earth to pick out the perfect meat, sometimes grinding it with a hand crank grinder, only to proudly place that burger over a hellish inferno that simply reduces it to a carbon encased meat puck. Or the opposite tack is used, cooking the burger on such a low temperature that it simply dries out without so much as a grill mark.

To create the perfect burger we need a heat source that is hot enough (and close enough to the meat) to provide a good sear, but no so much heat we turn our lovely meat into carbon. On a grill this is managed by giving your coals enough to time ash over slightly (any open flame that touches your meat is more likely to create soot than a tasty meat morsel). On the stove, it is all about pan selection.

Pan Selection
If you attempt to make a perfect burger for those you love yourself, be warned that this task cannot be attained through the use of just any pan. A non stick will not work for many reasons, not the least of which is the large number of carcinogens released by broiling in a non stick pan. Most stainless steel pans will not work for this task either because they simply cannot HOLD enough heat. Oh, they do a good enough job of distributing heat...but holding the necessary reserve of blazing heat required to create the perfect burger is simply not within their purview. When you make yourself the perfect burger you need to use the most perfect cooking material ever crafted. We are not talking about some Rachel Ray cookware or some fancy T-Fal pan. We are talking Cast Iron baby.

That is right, that nasty old cast iron skillet that your grandmother gave you has a better purpose than rusting in the garage. It can make you the perfect hamburger, and you won't even need to start the grill.

You may be shaking your head at me saying something to the effect of "Ehhh, I bet my new Michael Simon "Slide" cookware can get this done, Adam is an idiot." You might be right about the idiot thing, but please hear me out on this...cast iron is the only cooking material that can absorb huge doses of heat and dole them right back out at even, blazing temperatures. Non stick pans are generally made of aluminum, which at best transfers heat evenly throughout the pan and at worst burns half of the pan while the other half receives little or no heat. Cast Iron prevents this, allowing you to have the confidence to cook on high temperatures, while knowing that you run little risk of burning half of your burgers.

The Meat
Many burger "connoisseurs" extol the virtues of pricey meat selections, often grinding down what are essentially steaks into burger meat. The lean cuts, while great for steak, are often too lean to make a good burger. So, many "connoisseurs" then add fattier cuts back into meat, some even going so far as to grind up bacon to add the mixture. If you are a person doing the above, I have two questions for you...

1. If you have the money to eat steak...why are you eating a hamburger?
2. What good reason could you possibly have to grind up bacon? Grinding up bacon is probably a crime in some countries, you should be ashamed (And let me just say that an Anti-Bacon Grinding law would be a far sight better than some of the laws we currently have...).

Currently my favorite meat is simply Black Angus, with an 80/20 fat ratio. If you can find something that is better at comparable price, let me know.

When you are making the patties, make them at least 1/2 diameter larger than your bun, and preferably 1 inch. Using your thumb, you can also make a slight divot in the center of the patty. these two things will ensure that your patty is at least as wide your bun and that it doesn't look like a meatball when you are done cooking.

Seasoning

Listen, don't go crazy here. Some salt (kosher), some pepper (black), and a little paprika (smoked) will do nicely. If you want to live dangerously, go ahead, throw some cayenne in there. But stop. No more.

After seasoning, I always put my burgers in the freezer for about 10-15 minutes (during which time I get the pan ready). This will help your burger stay together when you flip it.

Let's Cook
Heat your trusty iron skillet to the point that a drop of water dances ferociously around the pan. At that point, lightly grease (a shot of non stick spray, canola oil preferably, works perfectly) the iron skillet and immediately place your burgers in skillet.

At this point you should apply some light pressure to the patty to make sure that all of the patty is in contact with the pan. But listen, you are applying light pressure... DO NOT PUSH down. This action should not change the the shape of your patty or make it any thinner. Sometimes I also put a small bowl or ramekin on top of each patty to make sure it stays in contact with the pan while cooking.

Cook for 4-5 minutes and then flip the burger, apply pressure, and place the bowl/ramekin back on top of the burger. After this side has cooked for 4 minutes place the cheese of choice on top of the burger and then immediately put the pan in a hot oven that is on broil (Can't do that with your fancy non stick cookware...).

Once the cheese has melted, remove from pan and place on a toasted bun with whatever accouterments you desire. I ate mine on a toasted bun with mayo and inglehoffer mustard. The cheese I used is a wonderful cheddar called Seaside and I also put some thick cut bacon on top. And instead of a side dish I had a second burger :) Everything was washed down with an ice cold Virgil's root beer.

Eat. Enjoy.

Cooking the bacon

With bowls/ramekins

First side, with a lovely crust

Hmmm, a bacon cheeseburger...with a side of bacon cheeseburger :)

PS - Apologies for the picture quality, our camera went out of town with the rest of the family so my blackberry had to suffice.